Life skills - joyhearts

Time management to perfection – including time to relax!

May 10, 2015Inspiration, Life skills

Planning ahead can keep you out of most trouble. You knew, didn’t you? When you get super stressed and angry at everyone in traffic, it’s really because you left 15 minutes later than planned, right? So count backwards, and get the things you REALLY need to get done, done in time. And then DON’T start seven other things that you just thought of and may be able to pull off. Don’t be a time optimist – be a time realist, then YOU will be happier. And when you know that you get really grumpy if you don’t get any food for hours, then make sure to always have some slices of carrot or almonds/raisins in your bag. I must look like a hamster, always bringing food – and starting the morning laying out my small snacks at my desk. But uh, I tell you: it’s for the good of all of us!! Don’t use planning as an excuse to get even more stressed (and stressing others out). Some mornings my husband actually asked me to get out of there, because I was planning, managing and shooting out orders and stressing them all out. So: how to use this skill to … More Time management to perfection – including time to relax! »

No PETS allowed – well, maybe a bunny if you force me

April 26, 2015Inspiration, Life skills

On the subject of nature, I never had a pet. Well, my brother had a budgie and a lovely dog that became our family friend, but I never went close to the bird cage and really hated how his room smelled of old cucumber. I did walk the dog now and then (my brother paying me to do so?!!), and did confess a few sad feelings to it. But no big connection. So when our kids started asking for pets, it was a clear NO. They’re messy, needs feeding and cleaning. And I would freak out if anyone put a bird near me – and pretend to be a statue if someone’s dear cat got close to me in the couch. After long discussions, we agreed on two gold fish in a bowl. The kids lost interest after a while, one died and we donated the other to after school care’s collection. We did try having a dog for a week. A rescue dog that we checked out carefully, but as it started to settle in to the new surroundings of our home, its issues came out full force with bared teeth, biting and compulsive behaviour. So we decided to … More No PETS allowed – well, maybe a bunny if you force me »

You can’t afford it? Well, well.. how much STUFF do you buy??

March 29, 2015Life skills

Let’s talk about the endless stuff you spend money on today that you could stop. Not only would you save money – I bet you would also save time. How good is that for a win-win? How much did you spend on takeaway, because none of you thought about dinner before it was too late? On work lunches you wander off to buy (amazing how needing lunch can surprise us every day!). On impulse bought clothes/bags/shoes that you don’t REALLY need? How much time did you spend shopping? Only great if you love Westfield more than your passion (see blog 1!). How easy is it for money to just evaporate? Get a financial advisor – we did! How boring and grown up does that sound??? Well, I know ours has saved us not only money – but arguments and sleepless nights. We had created quite an economical mess by moving to the other side of the world. Then this guy asked some key questions on goals and mindset around money. Hey, he even made me cry when asking whether we wanted to retire in Forster (no offence Forster, back then that was just the saddest thing I could imagine – … More You can’t afford it? Well, well.. how much STUFF do you buy?? »

OUTSOURCE!! No, you didn’t pick up a business magazine – this is for YOU!

March 22, 2015Inspiration, Life skills, work-life balance, Working mum

Here’s a funny one for a rainy afternoon: Mentally hire a consulting group. Imagine them walking in your front door (these guys never come in the back), black suits and all, half your age and very serious. Embrace them. They’ll refuse the cup of tea you offer – their eyes are already set on the target. Let them. Now imagine them analysing bit by bit your whole life (freakingly scary, I know!!). Every action you take from you get out of bed on a Monday morning till you collapse on the same bed Sunday night, not knowing how another week passed by. They will check which things you are GREAT at doing yourself – and which tasks you should rather delegate (oh, I can feel your nervous ticks starting, a panic of letting go is moving through your body??!!). You will start explaining why ONLY you can do this and that, but these guys don’t care, it’s all excuses! Whisper to me the first thing that comes to mind that you are NOT good at and would love to let go of (be honest here!): cleaning, doing your taxes, baking that birthday cake, planning the next event at your club, … More OUTSOURCE!! No, you didn’t pick up a business magazine – this is for YOU! »

Meditation – HA! Bet my brain will never be able to stop racing

March 17, 2015Life skills

Breathe in. Breathe out. Again. It took me half a life time to realise it’s good to stop .. Hope others will do it from their twenties. Imagine how much resistance that would save your friends and family – and you! Pilates. Strengthening your core. Keeps my lower back issues abreast so to speak. Great thing, while you brush your teeth or wait in a supermarket queue – win-win is that you’ll be happy when your queue turns out to be the slowest one. Did bring my (then 3 yr old) daughter with me. SO boring – no surprise, it looks like women lying on the floor for a full hour doing nothing. Can’t see all the inner work going on. I digress. In my twenties I never looked back, inwards or anywhere else – just full speed ahead. In an all-low year (relationship and job ended, on my own in a new city, lonely as), went to a palm reader. Wise woman. Commented on me being perfectionist (??!!), and that I would have my husband move out of the bedroom before my 40th if I didn’t let go of that perfectionism! At that point I did not even have … More Meditation – HA! Bet my brain will never be able to stop racing »

Have you ever seen a perfectionist having fun? Like REAL fun?

March 8, 2015Life skills

When did you last have a real belly laugh? Not the ti-hi or haha, but a bubbling one shaking all of what you’ve got? I bet you it wasn’t while washing up. Or ironing. Or doing the kids’ lunches. Or while stressing over all the work and emails you need to get done tonight/later/this weekend. If a laugh escaped you then, it would have been a nervous ah-ah-ah, jaws tight, stiff fake smile. Are you taking yourself (and everyone else) too seriously? When is the last time you just threw out a loud laugh when your kids or anyone else asked you to do something? It’s good to be serious about what you do. Both at home and at work. Great to be ambitious. It works even better, if it comes with a natural flow, if you are fully present and engaged and energised while perfecting something. But if your mind is going crazy with things you should/could/must do or just worries, you are perfecting nothing, you are stressing yourself – and everyone else! – out. Time for a confession. I was SO perfectionistic. SO serious. Before we got married, living together, I was SO embarrassed when my then boyfriend … More Have you ever seen a perfectionist having fun? Like REAL fun? »

Sitting still for an hour – just one!

March 3, 2015Life skills

Here’s a test for you. Not the girls’ magazine ones telling you if you’re a dreamer or a doer. A real hands-on one, or actually more of a bum-on one. Sit still for an hour at home. Yep 60 full minutes. Your brain will start a to-do-list within seconds (should do the washing, have to call Sue), just ignore. Then your body will feel itchy, you see a sock under the couch with months’ worth of dust attached that you NEED to get up and get. Don’t. Then your bad conscience is back: I can’t just sit here. Yes, you can – just tell it, right back: yes I can! OK, you managed 2 minutes and 10 seconds. Well done! Celebrate your successes! Now is the time to grab what you like doing: a book, a writing pad (NOT for to-do-lists, only allowed if you will actually write stuff on it: a diary, 10 things you’re grateful for, a poem that doesn’t rhyme, draw doodles), your knitting or anything remotely recreational. Now comes the real test: your children/husband/mum/neighbour walking in. Keep seated. Look even more concentrated at your doodles. Pretend you haven’t seen them (oooh, how can that feel SO … More Sitting still for an hour – just one! »

follow yourself

Category: Life skills