Run out of love?

Time, energy and love are amazing assets that we have plenty of. Yet, most of us treat them as if they are a scarce resource like money or oil that you shouldn’t spend too much of – afraid you may run out. Anyone with kids knows that when you have one child and get another, it’s not that you have spent all your love on the first and don’t have anything more to give! It’s nearly opposite: the more you give, the more is created within you. It’s like an automatic replenishment system! The scarce resources like money and oil are external, outside of us. The resources that truly matter come or are created from within. The more you practice love, the more it’s replenished. The more you learn to enjoy and appreciate and value your own time and energy, the better you get at giving lots of it and feeling you still have lots. You may know the saying: give something you want to be done to a busy woman? We all get good with practice. Here’s the catch: the love given can’t be the bitter kind of love. Or guilty love. The time given can’t be time given … More Run out of love? »

Full of yourself?

There are people so full of themselves that you can’t stand watching. And then there are people being so much themselves that you can’t STOP watching. The current horrendous situation with the bushfires in Australia is gut-wrenching. The fires have been continuing for months and will only cease when we get plenty of rain, and the losses for people, livelihoods and nature are devastating. In the midst of this, one example from the last days gives me hope for the changes we can make going forward and the power of visibility and numbers. It’s an example of how being visible can make a massive difference when you use it for the greater good. You may have heard of the Australian comedian, Celeste Barber. Our daughters introduced me to her on Instagram years ago, and she has since gathered 6 Mio followers globally by sharing and contrasting the glossy, perfect model image with her exposing her own normal, not-perfect body and being in non-flattering ways. Using humour to tackle the difficult stuff. That in itself is hilarious and she is a great voice for us all. As her parents-in-law are in one of the areas at great risk and with lots … More Full of yourself? »

Every rose….

You may recall the song line: Every rose has its thorns…. Well, well, recently I saw with my own eyes how some cacti have flowers, too. It reminded me how – no matter the first impressions – there is always more to ourselves and others. As you go into all the family and friend gatherings this time of year – why not try looking for the NOT so obvious in yourself and others? Have conversations that dig a bit deeper? You may be surprised to see some pretty pictures that have much more to them – and that they too appreciate the conversation going beyond the surface. And then you may just be positively surprised as you approach some of the more prickly suspects – only to find some common ground and surprising worlds unfolding. Enjoy looking for what you don’t expect these next weeks!

Looking back…. over my shoulder?

This time of year we tend to look back. Appreciating the year that passed, the people we spent time with, the achievements we created. Looking back is wonderful, and it’s also a really important part of our personal journey, looking at who we were yesterday (yesteryear, yester decade) compared to who we are today. Cherish looking back and then give some thought to looking ahead. With the words of the futurist we had guest speaking recently: let’s plan the future based on the future! Unfortunately, most often we as leaders and business owners – and in our private lives – plan and predict the future based on the past. And even if that shows what we were capable of, it risks holding us tied to the choices of the past. With a new decade in sight: what about taking a fresh view on yourself and your capabilities? Of your team, your business, your life? Planning who and where you want to be in the future – and creating the strategy and focus based on THAT instead of the past?! Looking back is valuable. Let’s now look ahead – and still use our own shoulder (not what everyone else is doing) … More Looking back…. over my shoulder? »

Over-committing myself…. who me??!!

On the radio today, I got the opportunity to have a conversation with a good colleague around over-committing ourselves and what to do about it. Do you recognise it? Especially this time of year. So many of us stressing out about all the events we have committed to. Here’s the truth: it’s never about how much is in the calendar. It’s how we tackle it. We all have 24 hrs in a day, and this time of year gives us the opportunity to become even better at tackling busyness. Tip #1: you have committed, accept that it is what it is Tip #2: plan for respectful and smooth arrivals and departures Tip #3: be present Let’s unpack each one of them. First of all, when you have committed – that’s it. Stop running stories in your head or out loud about how you have over-committed or how busy it is or how full-on this weekend will be. Advance coaching: stop it! You say yes or no upfront, and when you have committed, no need to waste brain and air-time creating dramas around it. Secondly, if you have been slightly over-optimistic with how much you can fit in a day, be … More Over-committing myself…. who me??!! »

Hello….hello…..I know you’re in there!!

What do we do when we’re not OK? When we’re not 100%? Most of the time we keep pushing through – or fall into a puddle of self-blame. Would you be curious if I say there is another way? Be kind. What??? Be kind to yourself. That’s it??? You’re kidding me??? Not really. This is where change starts. When you feel un-wellness creeping in or feel stuck it is a gentle reminder from your inner voice (or sometimes not so gentle if we keep turning the deaf ear for too long…) for you to check back in. When we feel off-kilter, when the body is telling us it needs a break or when our emotions tell us that something is not quite right, step one of turning it around is to be kind to ourselves. It’s a reminder to listen to that inner voice (hello….hello…..I know you’re in there….even if I haven’t paid attention to you for a while….). You may have gotten off track in some way and it’s OK, you will get back on track if you give yourself a chance. This comes in two ways, so stay with me: Either you’re coming from the NARCISSIST side of … More Hello….hello…..I know you’re in there!! »

The power of connection

We all need connection. To feel we belong. Somehow, somewhere. Whether it’s taking 20 minutes to go and chat with the older man down the street – or putting your phone away and being fully present while you talk with your family. Whether it’s playing 100% in a workshop room and truly connect with the others – or having that one-on-one conversation that goes one step deeper. We see it in their faces, feel it in our hearts when a connection is created. The energy in a big room goes up dramatically when you as a facilitator allow the participants to share insights with the person next to them. It’s very seldom about the content. It’s very often about the connection. Because that’s what we really long for: connecting, somehow, somewhere. This week, do your best to be fully present in all your interactions. Listen to understand, enter with resourceful intentions. Be part of creating true connection. And enjoy witnessing the outcomes. That’s the power of connection.

Ready for a new decade?

We have a few weeks left of this month. A few months left of this year – wait, what? It’s not just a year coming to an end, it’s a decade! Which means we’re about to enter a brand new decade. That’s exciting – or scary if you’re not sure how to go about it. What do you want to make happen in the 20s? WHO do you want to be? What do you ABSOLUTELY want to leave behind and close the door on in this decade? Let’s use the next few months wisely. To get clear on the answers to these questions for you, your teams and your business. Let’s make this new decade matter. Make YOU matter. Let’s create the best decade ever. P.S.: I saw the Aretha Franklin movie Amazing Grace yesterday with a friend from our choir and absolutely loved it. She is so effortless when she sings. So true to herself. She keeps it so simple and yet moves so many people. The lyrics from one of the songs hit me (and stuck with me because I know myself well enough to grab my phone to capture it): “If I could I surely would”. And … More Ready for a new decade? »

På med hørebrillen!!

Growing up, we had a Danish saying that you would throw at someone who didn’t get what you were trying to say: ‘på med hørebrillen’ – meaning put on your hearing glasses, step it up, tune into what I’m telling you. Technically, it is a pair of glasses with built-in microphones that help hearing-impaired pick up more of a conversation. I thought of the saying this week, as I realised how differently we are all equipped to listen to each other’s messages and pick up what is intended. Or (as it happens most often) not listening for the intent but cross-wiring the message unintendedly based on our own filters and triggers. In most everyday conversations – privately and work-related – the delivery of a message is not picked up by the receiver, either because we are not tuned in to the same channel – or because too many external factors take our attention away from focusing on the intended message. And it made me smile realising how a trifecta has developed my superior hearing over the years – not literally if tested – but applied: 1) growing up speaking a minority language, 2) being brought up by loving parents encouraging … More På med hørebrillen!! »

The Good News Channel

I don’t watch the news. Not because I don’t care. But because I want to focus my energy and mind on things I can impact. Good thoughts foster good action and worried thoughts more worry and despair. I always said that one day I was going to start a ‘Happy News Channel’. Where journalists would go out in the world to capture the good stories, bring them back and edit them into news clips that would bring hope, inspiration and action. A former Reuters journalist I talked with on the plane years ago understood my urge but concluded that some students had tried it once… It doesn’t sell as many tickets, it doesn’t get viewers. I get it: our brains are wired to look for danger and you get more reactions from people around you if you bring a big drama compared to sharing a story around what a smooth, easy day you had because everything worked out exactly as you wanted it to. It’s encouraging that so many of us are passionate about creating a better world, but when we frame it ‘war against waste’ or ‘war against…’ we bring more attention to the unwanted state – and make … More The Good News Channel »