Gratitude one day or the other?

I haven’t been online yet today, but I’m sure there will be stacks of Mother’s Day posts and true gratitude for the flowers, the lunches, the dinners, the gifts. That’s all fine. But as those of you know who have followed me for some years, we don’t do Mother’s Day or Father’s Day in our home. There’s nothing wrong with celebrating these days, we have nothing against them like some people detest Halloween as a growing commercial tradition – I think it’s GREAT to create new traditions and savour the old ones. What is it then? Well, we believe the other 364 days count much more. What is a lovely bunch of flowers on this day compared to mutual respect and helping each other out running this thing called a family all year round? What is a breakfast with hundreds of other families out on this day to celebrate the (sacrifices of?) motherhood compared to a smile and a hug on a random Wednesday – seeing in each other’s eyes that it means a lot having each other around? I hope everyone has had a lovely day, been spoiled and had that beautiful feeling of love and gratitude come their … More Gratitude one day or the other? »

When a lot is not enough…

Who else than Danish TV would show ‘De perfekte piger’ (the perfect girls), where four girls in their early twenties meet weekly to help each other let go of the mask of the perfect girl? Well, I don’t know any other countries I’ve lived or worked in, who would. It’s pretty confronting to watch, because it’s not glamour or talk-show or famous-people-surviving-on-an-island: it’s everyday girls. And it’s confronting because most of you reading this would either know the perfect girl from yourselves or have girls or women in your lives who know that role all too well…. They may be 8, 11, 14, 17, 21, 35, 47, 56, 69, 77, 84 or…. They try so hard, and it’s never enough. Because when we define perfect in our heads, it’s the best-possible-façade that we see others put on during school, work, family gatherings, shopping or on social media. It is based on the little pockets in time, where someone, somewhere has got it all together. It’s NEVER a realistic full-week-in-someone’s-life where you compare your everyday life to their everyday life, with all the ups and downs, disappointments and joys, misunderstandings and glimpses of contentment. It’s a comparison that will never be … More When a lot is not enough… »

One year for women – or one day?

Last year I shared this article. Amazed at the great progress since from my clients, both male and female, to promote more women to do what they do best. So, let’s make it every day, not just one day? International women’s day. I treasure women, I treasure men. I don’t think we need special days – just like we don’t do “Father’s Day” and “Mother’s Day” in our house. I respect and admire all the strong and brave people who made it possible for us to live with the rights we have today. And I acknowledge many people needing better lives still. But last year US women had been encouraged to not work and not spend on this day, to show how society’s wheels would not turn without us. And in Australia some companies have started ratios for how many women you need to hire. I don’t think that’s the way. Progress is created not by opposition, provocation or rules, but by visionary humans (men and women). Respecting each other, finding the root cause when things are not right yet and then encouraging each other to take the brave steps needed. We all have both masculine and feminine energy and … More One year for women – or one day? »

Passport to the world

Becoming a global citizen, what does that entail? After getting my second passport, a friend on Facebook played with the idea of having passports for “citizens of the world” – how good would that be? I imagine it would mean free entry to all countries, honorary dinners at the “citizens of the world club” and a fascinating Facebook community sharing key insights to living truly globally. Of course, you would have to pass a test to get this citizenship, maybe with language tests on at least 3 fluent languages and showcasing experiences from at least 5 different cultures? Speaking different languages is such a gift. Because you really get to understand a culture when you understand the structure of the language and the thinking behind it. I must admit my benchmark went to another level on a flight to Europe, sitting next to a former correspondent speaking 17 languages, including currently having a go at Vietnamese – his first ever attempt at a Tone language. How fascinating is that?? I may be nerdy, but it got me very excited learning about the principles of a Tone language, and my number of spoken languages suddenly felt a bit average. It’s always … More Passport to the world »

Like teenagers again

Some friends of ours slept in the car the other week, coming back to the grandparents’ place after a great night and finding themselves locked out. It can’t get more teenager than that – sleeping the last few hours of the night in a car outside your parents’ place. Fabulous. That’s exactly what we need to do more of. All of us. Enjoying ourselves, taking time to just be, to have fun with people we like hanging out with. Exactly like we (may or may not!) have done as teenagers. If you didn’t, grab a second chance. Celebrating friends’ 50th at the moment, we and lots around us have that freedom coming back now with kids looking after themselves. But it doesn’t matter if you, reading this, have kids or not. If you’re in your 20’s, 30’s or 40’s, in a high-pressure career or retired – it doesn’t matter at all. The point is, as we’re so busy becoming responsible adults, doing the things we’ve seen others do as adults, we forget. We forget that the most important thing is to keep your childlike curiosity alive, to tap into your teenage-like enjoyment and laissez-faire now and then. What’s something teenagish … More Like teenagers again »

Snoring….. who me??

I’m a snorer. And when I say that at social gatherings, a lot of husbands start laughing and nudging their wives, so I guess I’m not the only one?! Like with everything in life, when you start being open about your flaws and problems, others relax and feel that they’re OK with being human, too. I’ve nearly made it into a positive: it must mean that I’m so relaxed when I sleep, that I really let go of any turmoil of the day. But then, another thought creeped in: I recalled a dental specialist I chatted to years ago, telling he could see by looking at you, if you snore… Oh. That’s a bit creepy, like the Christmas song where Santa “sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake…”. Anyway, unfortunately I didn’t dig deeper back then, finding out HOW he knew (the specialist, not Santa!). So, in my mind it has grown bigger: this image of him checking out people in the supermarket queue, at meetings and in conversation. What is it, he’s looking for?? What’s the signature, snorer cue? I create answers like “a loose, hanging double chin”, heavy overweight – or simply diagnosing a loose … More Snoring….. who me?? »

No fluff

There is no fluff in living from your heart. It is challenging, takes bravery and will be met with disdain. Because it provokes people meeting a person taking off masks, diluting and dissolving labels. When our auto setting is hiding behind arguments, creating conflict or placing blame. World peace doesn’t come from sitting around saying nice things to each other. It comes from all of us taking responsibility for our own shit, dealing with it to the best of our ability, and not just passing it on to the next person. Results come from contrasts and challenges overcome – and results is not a dirty word (for those of you scrunching your noses right now thinking results only belong in the business world). We are all getting results all the time – whether you like your results or not, is a whole-new kettle of fish. Let’s call it feedback. Living from your heart only works if you’re getting the results you are planning for at the same time – otherwise it’s just another convenient label for hiding and letting yourself off the hook. So, did you get the outcomes you wanted this year? If not, what are YOU gonna change … More No fluff »

How do you brush your teeth?

Everything we do is a strategy. A simple example: we have a strategy for brushing our teeth: some steps leading to an outcome. If we want a different result from our teeth brushing, we need to change a step – and possibly get inspiration from someone getting the results we want. So, how do you brush your teeth? All we do is a strategy. Brushing your teeth differently may be setting the bar a bit low. So, let’s look for something meatier that you would like to do better in 2018. What is your strategy for that right now? Let’s say it’s your relationship with those close to you (excellent choice as we lead into lots of Christmas events with family and the usual suspects, right??). What’s your strategy for relationships, “how do you do relationships”? Are you getting the results you want in your relationships? It’s such an easy one to spot – because if we feel close, respected, allowing each other to be who we are, being the bigger person and allowing each other space and support, the relationships blossom. We know when they are not working. And it’s not your fault, or someone else’s fault. It’s just … More How do you brush your teeth? »

The people we meet…

I meet many different combinations of people on my weekend jog in the bush. Fascinating to observe them: the running clubs pacing through, the parents taking their kids on a little adventure, mid-life men catching up (meaning one of them talking about how amazing he is at work, the others barely adding a word). And then the best team I’ve met recently: two young boys. Clearly friends. Very different in nature, but having each other’s backs. Sharing, asking, taking turn in taking lead, truly enjoying each other’s company – but being much too young to really realise it, simply having a good time. Years ago, we travelled NZ in a campervan, and our back then young girls had some trouble with friendships. Sitting talking in the back of the campervan, I remember drawing my “friendship ancestry tree” to my kids. While mapping it out, realising the close friends I’ve had through my life. Some were there for a period of time, we enjoyed each other’s company, stretched each other and made it all feel safe. Like the two boys in the bush. Sometimes you moved on in life. Painful if one was ready to move before the other – and … More The people we meet… »

ME… needing to grow??

Are you a leader? In a business, of a team – at work, at home or through tribes? Your business, teams and tribes deserve to flourish and grow. And the only way they grow, is if YOU grow! But so often there are things holding us back: the narratives we tell ourselves, the things our parents didn’t teach us, the way we (mis-)communicate with others to name a few. And based on all of these (very valid) excuses, we start meeting everybody else’s needs and stop growing as ourselves. Hear-hear?? It’s time to start enjoying being you, to start taking off the hats everybody else has given you – to become YOU again. Because you’re reading this, we know that the success of your tribe or business highly depends on you, that you are a key driver. So, for you, for them: say yes to you?! We start our next Good Hearts United group in December. A monthly “online book club” for personal development, this time inviting business owners, team- and tribe leaders. So, is your Good Heart ready to join us? To create not only success for you, but for those around you? To your success!