We grow up learning not to cry, not to be angry, be a good boy/girl. And guess what? We teach our own kids the same thing. Because it’s so much easier (read: I’ve got things under control) when people around us behave calmly, politely and mostly happy.
The thing is: we HAVE all kinds of emotions. All the time. And it’s OK to have them. So start welcoming them. In yourself. In others. Wow, you’re angry – that’s really important to you, isn’t it (just try and say it to yourself/others without sounding condescending. It’s meant well).
So when things fall apart. When you are sad, angry, alone, had enough. Accept it. It’s OK. Own your emotions. They are exactly that: YOUR emotions. No one else’s. So accept them, however ugly and unattractive they may seem in the moment.
They are your emotions. Signals to you that something has to change. In you. In the standards you set for others or yourself. In what you say yes to (or should have said no to??). Go explore. All of your emotions. They pop up for a reason. So explore with curiosity and wonder.
There is no “think happy thoughts” that solves it all. Listen and act on what needs to be acted on. That will make you feel better. But forcing feeling good without changing the root cause is just delaying trouble. Off you go exploring… ooooh, a tiny bit scary and exciting at the same time, isn’t it? Happy Sunday.