Living Selfishly (yes, that’s OK!)

Hmm... this may not be a perfect fit for a Valentine’s Day post – or maybe it is exactly that!! Because to create a great life for yourself and those around you, you need to learn to live selfishly.

My mum lives to serve others. I admire that. But it works best when you back yourself at the same time. My mum does – not a lot of women do. They give and give… but you sense that it’s because they do NOT know how to put themselves first.

Here’s a cliché (but clichés are around because they hold a truth and therefore have been told many times!): When flying, remember how the crew tell you to put on your OWN oxygen mask before helping children or others around you. Yep. That’s exactly it. You can help others to a whole different level when you make sure your needs are met first – then it flows, overflows, and with happiness and content as wrapping, instead of bitterness, apologies or defeat.

Put yourself first. Just once a week. There are so many ways of doing it (with no animals or humans being harmed…). For inspiration: check out my first blogs from February & March 2015.

I’m not wired that way”. “I don’t back myself”. Good news: you can learn it. And it’s not hard. It just takes practise. And a decision to let go of pleasing everyone. Good news: that’s easy to let go of as well. And I can’t wait to help you doing exactly that. So if you need a cheer leader, email me – this is what I help people do through coaching.

Selfishness is not always well received. Well, honestly, never. You have to stand your ground and have a purpose important enough. I’m envisaging Colonel Hathi from Disney’s The Jungle Book: Hup, 2, 3, 4…. Keep it up, 2, 3, 4. Thick-skinned and with a purpose. I have something important to do. Hup, 2, 3, 4…. Keep it up, 2, 3, 4. I will find a way of getting the results, no matter what comes tumbling down. Hup, 2, 3, 4…. Keep it up, 2, 3, 4. For my own fun, I’ve dressed up the marching patrol in my mind with happy colours and a few dance steps mixed in.

So here is my Valentine’s Wish for you: Write a love letter to yourself this year. Ask yourself to start living selfishly – for the good of you, the good of others and the greater good. Hup, 2, 3, 4…. Keep it up, 2, 3, 4!