From early on we hear “you can’t have it all” and other energy-zapping one-liners (there is a whole song in Danish about not soaring too high, staying safe with good-old and so on… it was constantly on radio all through my childhood … Free Speech is a great principle, but lyrics like this should be forbidden!!). What if I say you CAN have it all?? You will need others’ help, it won’t be easy, it won’t turn out exactly like you planned, and it definitely will not happen all at once. But it is possible. Be ALL you can be. Every day. Think big, be big – or whatever it is being YOU. Connect with all the people you can, you never know what amazing things come from it (and for the introverts: enjoy being quiet, stay home, enjoy reading that book and cherish YOUR qualities). For all of us: use all your talents, pursue all your interests. Be love. Be daring. Be kind. The bravery comes in handy when the going gets tough and you need to pick yourself up. And for a lot of us the scariest thing is reaching out, putting up your hand when you need … More You CAN have it all (what..??) »

It sounds like a Football club, doesn’t it? But it’s a different kind of club. The club of Good Hearts United. The members are the ones seeing the best in others, sticking to their high values of how to treat each other – and wanting to share goodness. Do you notice though, that many Good Hearts don’t get to REALLY do their thing? How they are often people pleasers, and they put themselves last – they may not even get their own needs and dreams onto the list. And weeks and months and years go by. Well, well, here’s news for you Good Hearts out there. It is OK to put yourself first sometimes (YES, wow, I know, stop-press kind of wow!!). To invest in YOU. To have even more to give to others. That’s why I’ve started Good Hearts United. A group saying yes to themselves and their personal development – linking in with others on the same journey. It’s like a book club for personal development. And the journey we’re starting this July is a 12 months’ journey. Because change doesn’t happen overnight, does it? For sustainable, lasting results, we must keep turning up. And because we are … More Good Hearts United »

Mother’s Day last week. Lovely messages and connections. But one day can’t last us – what I believe supports us through the year, through the daily ups and downs are the collectives. The groups of women, family, friends, neighbours, colleagues or random women we’ve gathered around us. Listening, supporting and giving each other a kick or a hug when needed. That’s what keeps us going. I know Mothers’ groups exist in quite a few countries. Great way to meet likeminded and be able to talk about ALL the stuff on your mind, especially with first time motherhood. Our first group continued, way past bringing the kids along – it became a women’s space to relax and be honest. So why do we need a group as “excuse” for this? And what to do for those without children? And for the women moving into later stages of life? I believe we must create women’s groups for all ages – for retirees, for back-to-work-after-kids, for why-am-I-the-only-female-in-this-leadership-team! To have this safe space to speak your mind, test your views and values – and walk out strengthened, with great ideas and courage to do what is right for you. I love singing, and choirs … More Mothers’ groups for retirees? »

Did you ever wonder if you say NO enough? In order to say YES to yourself more? We’re not talking about mindless no, no, no, no to everything, and we’re not on about NO!!!! with anger, stubbornness or provocation. It’s the calm no. The considered no. The grounded no, because you know who you are and what’s important to you. And often “the request” doesn’t need to be done, or someone else could do it instead of you. So I invite you to ponder: how come we so often have YES as our default response? What if we turned it upside down and had a calm NO as default, unless certain criteria (yours! not others’) were met? So that you know when and why you say yes. In the Joy Hearts workshops we see how it starts with knowing who you are. What’s important to YOU. That’s such a good starting point for making wise decisions. Based on this, you decide how you want to spend your waking hours (we all have the same number of hours in a day; Richard Branson and you both have 24 hrs, I’m just saying?!). SO many things can be done differently, smarter, quicker, … More Saying NO… to say YES »

In coaching there is a model called BE – DO – HAVE. How in life we most often start with what we want to HAVE (I really want that house/job/car), then I would DO (…deliver much more at work/blah-blah!) and finally I could BE (happy/valued/insert-feeling-here). What if I tell you it’s really the other way around? When you start BEING who you want to be, it makes you DO the things that you truly want to focus on (not from guilt or chasing an external-thing-dream) and that leads to you HAVING what you were really after. We have talked about this before. Sometimes we need to hear things twice??!! So: It was never about the house. The car. The new title. It was always about how you imagined you would feel when you HAD it. And that exact feeling you can choose to feel now. Right now. Over something you already have present in your life, big or small. It’s not when you have gotten or done all those other things that you (magically) become that loving, calm, driven, valued or whatever person you know you can be. It’s the other way around. So BE the person you want to … More Who are you BEING (who… me???) »

The beauty of two umbrellas, one in all colours of the rainbow – the other one white. Two friends on a bench talking. Trusting each other to talk, to listen, to be quiet. Witnessing each other’s lives unfold, the ups and the downs. Being the mirror to each other: learning who we are, keeping each other honest. Not like X-factor, Idol or Who’s got Talent, where some people end up in the unbearable situation of being asked: who told you that you could sing???? Being a good friend is not keeping the truth away from you because it’s too scary to tell. And it’s not about being a dream-stealer – it’s about being honest, when you and your friend is ready for it. When we are onto something good and right for us, great friends support each other, give each other the courage (from French ‘heart’, ‘coeur’) to keep going and pursuing our dreams, our little happiness. And when something is difficult, we are there to listen. So here they were. Two long-time friends. Sharing time and presence. Going for their walk despite the rain (and we’ve had rain for a month now in Sydney… so no good waiting for … More Friendship in colour… »

What happened to this weekend? Where did the days go? Beautifully wasted. With practical stuff. And being lazy. And being annoyed with self for being lazy. And then realising it’s OK. To push the pause button now and then. But on another note – on another kind of waste, this update from the trenches hit my notebook in the weeks after Christmas: what happened to my waist??!! My family GOT me a hula hoop ring, and it gave LOTS of laughs… especially as we all witnessed how it works splendidly for the (smaller waist size) daughters – but NOT for me. And I’m not talking about me not being able to swing the hips after all that lovely food during December. No, no, no, I’m talking physics. Physics denying me my childhood fun. Here we go: the physical laws defining that ANY ring wanting to swirl around another object needs that object. To. Be. Much. Smaller. Hmmm….. Smaller as in my waist having to be MUCH smaller than the diameter of the shiny new hula hoop ring. Oh!!! So here I am. A waisted opportunity (!?!). Or not. I have three options (or probably many more, my brain has started … More Waisting the days away?! »

Whether it’s well behaved children, a promotion, a new car, a partner we love or our dream house – we want it NOW! What if all of those external things (including how other people do and make us feel), are not what it’s really about? That it’s never about that?! It was never about the promotion. It was always about how you imagined you would feel when you HAD the promotion. And guess what? There is a MUCH easier way: you can choose to feel that way exactly now. Right now. Over something you already have present in your life, big or small. Go figure! How many hours, sleepless nights, worry and guilt have you saved right there? Get your gratitude journal going. In your mind or even better write it down each morning. 10 things or own behaviours you are really happy, excited, proud or grateful for being or having in your life right now. And say thank you! Really feel it and say it out loud. For each one of them. That’s where it starts. Inside you. It’s never about the others or the things we want. Start right now, being who you want to be. It will … More I want it NOW! »