Snoring….. who me??

I’m a snorer. And when I say that at social gatherings, a lot of husbands start laughing and nudging their wives, so I guess I’m not the only one?! Like with everything in life, when you start being open about your flaws and problems, others relax and feel that they’re OK with being human, too.

I’ve nearly made it into a positive: it must mean that I’m so relaxed when I sleep, that I really let go of any turmoil of the day. But then, another thought creeped in: I recalled a dental specialist I chatted to years ago, telling he could see by looking at you, if you snore… Oh. That’s a bit creepy, like the Christmas song where Santa “sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake…”.

Anyway, unfortunately I didn’t dig deeper back then, finding out HOW he knew (the specialist, not Santa!). So, in my mind it has grown bigger: this image of him checking out people in the supermarket queue, at meetings and in conversation. What is it, he’s looking for?? What’s the signature, snorer cue? I create answers like “a loose, hanging double chin”, heavy overweight – or simply diagnosing a loose jaw, which leads back to my pretend “you’re so relaxed, even when you sleep”.

A (female) colleague of mine was also very open with her snoring. In fact, their whole family snores big time, kids and all – imagining the roof shaking and nearly blowing off at night-time. At some work event with room sharing, her room buddy next morning confessed that it had been so unbearable, that she had escaped the room, finding a couch or cupboard somewhere to spend the rest of the night in. Behold… she only left after recording the repetitive, extensive sound for a few minutes. What a great laugh for all of us in the taxi that morning, including the perpetrator.

So, we are a few females open about our snoring – but to keep some self-image of femininity, I have convinced myself that mine is only a slightly (charming even?) extensive breathing. And I truly value my husband not entertaining with it at dinner parties, or (oh shivers!) recording it. So… some work to do still on the vanity I didn’t think I had. Touché.

Well, I better (wo)man up and chase down the dental specialist and get the honest truth of how he knows a snorer by a glance… Am I ready to face his answer?? “I can see by your (47 yrs. old) loose, hanging skin under your chin, that you are a snorer”. Arrrrgh….

Two learnings for me today then: I may be open about my flaws, but I’m still so vain. And while we’re on the subject of flaws and being human, the second learning: continue asking for the facts, to save you the worry. Hadn’t seen snoring coming as my opening blog for 2018 – well, that just sets us up for an exciting, unpredictable year, doesn’t it? Happy New Year all.