Asking myself WHAT??

The quality of our life is determined by the quality of the questions we ask ourselves. Unfortunately, most of us ask ourselves really rubbish questions. You know, how great leaders ask great questions – instead of just telling people what to do, which is common, but a low standard of leadership. Well, for all of us, leaders of businesses, teams – and leaders of life – most of the questions we ask, never pass our lips. They are part of the constant self-talk in our heads, the looping noise. Starting the day with (self-talk) questions like: ‘How am I going to manage all this?’ or ‘Why me?’ or ‘How am I going to get through this day?’ is pretty common for even the best. But we give our brains very little chance of high quality answers with such a low starting point. Our brain’s best options would be answering ‘You’re not’, ‘Because that’s what always happens’ and ‘Barely breathing’. So, what about setting the bar a little higher? A good place to start is with these 7 quality questions, that give your brain an opportunity to actually look for a quality answer (from Awaken the Giant within). You have to … More Asking myself WHAT?? »

Passport to the world

Becoming a global citizen, what does that entail? After getting my second passport, a friend on Facebook played with the idea of having passports for “citizens of the world” – how good would that be? I imagine it would mean free entry to all countries, honorary dinners at the “citizens of the world club” and a fascinating Facebook community sharing key insights to living truly globally. Of course, you would have to pass a test to get this citizenship, maybe with language tests on at least 3 fluent languages and showcasing experiences from at least 5 different cultures? Speaking different languages is such a gift. Because you really get to understand a culture when you understand the structure of the language and the thinking behind it. I must admit my benchmark went to another level on a flight to Europe, sitting next to a former correspondent speaking 17 languages, including currently having a go at Vietnamese – his first ever attempt at a Tone language. How fascinating is that?? I may be nerdy, but it got me very excited learning about the principles of a Tone language, and my number of spoken languages suddenly felt a bit average. It’s always … More Passport to the world »

Like teenagers again

Some friends of ours slept in the car the other week, coming back to the grandparents’ place after a great night and finding themselves locked out. It can’t get more teenager than that – sleeping the last few hours of the night in a car outside your parents’ place. Fabulous. That’s exactly what we need to do more of. All of us. Enjoying ourselves, taking time to just be, to have fun with people we like hanging out with. Exactly like we (may or may not!) have done as teenagers. If you didn’t, grab a second chance. Celebrating friends’ 50th at the moment, we and lots around us have that freedom coming back now with kids looking after themselves. But it doesn’t matter if you, reading this, have kids or not. If you’re in your 20’s, 30’s or 40’s, in a high-pressure career or retired – it doesn’t matter at all. The point is, as we’re so busy becoming responsible adults, doing the things we’ve seen others do as adults, we forget. We forget that the most important thing is to keep your childlike curiosity alive, to tap into your teenage-like enjoyment and laissez-faire now and then. What’s something teenagish … More Like teenagers again »

Snoring….. who me??

I’m a snorer. And when I say that at social gatherings, a lot of husbands start laughing and nudging their wives, so I guess I’m not the only one?! Like with everything in life, when you start being open about your flaws and problems, others relax and feel that they’re OK with being human, too. I’ve nearly made it into a positive: it must mean that I’m so relaxed when I sleep, that I really let go of any turmoil of the day. But then, another thought creeped in: I recalled a dental specialist I chatted to years ago, telling he could see by looking at you, if you snore… Oh. That’s a bit creepy, like the Christmas song where Santa “sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake…”. Anyway, unfortunately I didn’t dig deeper back then, finding out HOW he knew (the specialist, not Santa!). So, in my mind it has grown bigger: this image of him checking out people in the supermarket queue, at meetings and in conversation. What is it, he’s looking for?? What’s the signature, snorer cue? I create answers like “a loose, hanging double chin”, heavy overweight – or simply diagnosing a loose … More Snoring….. who me?? »

No fluff

There is no fluff in living from your heart. It is challenging, takes bravery and will be met with disdain. Because it provokes people meeting a person taking off masks, diluting and dissolving labels. When our auto setting is hiding behind arguments, creating conflict or placing blame. World peace doesn’t come from sitting around saying nice things to each other. It comes from all of us taking responsibility for our own shit, dealing with it to the best of our ability, and not just passing it on to the next person. Results come from contrasts and challenges overcome – and results is not a dirty word (for those of you scrunching your noses right now thinking results only belong in the business world). We are all getting results all the time – whether you like your results or not, is a whole-new kettle of fish. Let’s call it feedback. Living from your heart only works if you’re getting the results you are planning for at the same time – otherwise it’s just another convenient label for hiding and letting yourself off the hook. So, did you get the outcomes you wanted this year? If not, what are YOU gonna change … More No fluff »

How do you brush your teeth?

Everything we do is a strategy. A simple example: we have a strategy for brushing our teeth: some steps leading to an outcome. If we want a different result from our teeth brushing, we need to change a step – and possibly get inspiration from someone getting the results we want. So, how do you brush your teeth? All we do is a strategy. Brushing your teeth differently may be setting the bar a bit low. So, let’s look for something meatier that you would like to do better in 2018. What is your strategy for that right now? Let’s say it’s your relationship with those close to you (excellent choice as we lead into lots of Christmas events with family and the usual suspects, right??). What’s your strategy for relationships, “how do you do relationships”? Are you getting the results you want in your relationships? It’s such an easy one to spot – because if we feel close, respected, allowing each other to be who we are, being the bigger person and allowing each other space and support, the relationships blossom. We know when they are not working. And it’s not your fault, or someone else’s fault. It’s just … More How do you brush your teeth? »

The people we meet…

I meet many different combinations of people on my weekend jog in the bush. Fascinating to observe them: the running clubs pacing through, the parents taking their kids on a little adventure, mid-life men catching up (meaning one of them talking about how amazing he is at work, the others barely adding a word). And then the best team I’ve met recently: two young boys. Clearly friends. Very different in nature, but having each other’s backs. Sharing, asking, taking turn in taking lead, truly enjoying each other’s company – but being much too young to really realise it, simply having a good time. Years ago, we travelled NZ in a campervan, and our back then young girls had some trouble with friendships. Sitting talking in the back of the campervan, I remember drawing my “friendship ancestry tree” to my kids. While mapping it out, realising the close friends I’ve had through my life. Some were there for a period of time, we enjoyed each other’s company, stretched each other and made it all feel safe. Like the two boys in the bush. Sometimes you moved on in life. Painful if one was ready to move before the other – and … More The people we meet… »

ME… needing to grow??

Are you a leader? In a business, of a team – at work, at home or through tribes? Your business, teams and tribes deserve to flourish and grow. And the only way they grow, is if YOU grow! But so often there are things holding us back: the narratives we tell ourselves, the things our parents didn’t teach us, the way we (mis-)communicate with others to name a few. And based on all of these (very valid) excuses, we start meeting everybody else’s needs and stop growing as ourselves. Hear-hear?? It’s time to start enjoying being you, to start taking off the hats everybody else has given you – to become YOU again. Because you’re reading this, we know that the success of your tribe or business highly depends on you, that you are a key driver. So, for you, for them: say yes to you?! We start our next Good Hearts United group in December. A monthly “online book club” for personal development, this time inviting business owners, team- and tribe leaders. So, is your Good Heart ready to join us? To create not only success for you, but for those around you? To your success!

Work places: why so serious???

How come, if you are a serious, important work place, you all need to sit in boring, serious offices and dress as if your only asset of credibility was your suit?? Have a look around, the world has changed! You’ve probably seen or heard about ‘The internship’ movie featuring Google – why should only Google be a fun place to be, play, learn, work and explore? Imagine your lawyers, accountants or insurance companies with people dressed in colourful, diverse, personal style, sitting on exercise balls and taking the slide to next floor – why not? When I started in corporate 20 years ago, I went from ‘Uni Uniform’ of jeans and a sweatshirt to buy long skirts, jackets and silk scarfs (??!! Yes, I did!! Horrendous to think of, but that’s what we did back then). My male colleagues wore suits and ties. Day in, day out. Luckily two decades later, it is much more casual, and my jackets have gone to recycling ages ago. But what if we pushed it further? Last week I heard of an online company that banned suits to enter their offices (and yes, they do have a slide..). Can you think of any entrepreneur … More Work places: why so serious??? »

Let’s HYGGE.. [hoo-ga] [hue-gah]?!

I’ve just come back from Denmark. Or the Country of Candles. And it’s not even dark all the time, as you may think if watching ‘Borgen’, ‘The Killing’ and so on. Well, candles bring HYGGE. That feeling of hominess, caring, enjoying the moment with close ones (most often accompanied by cake and coffee…). Did you know Danes burn more than 6 kg candles a year? That’s twice as much as the runner-up. And that 28% of Danes light candles EVERY day? Source: The Happiness Research Institute, Copenhagen (yep… it exists?!!). A mentor of mine once told how he and his wife have candle light dinners EVERY night. Because well, it only takes lighting a candle on the table. And as I stayed with a girlfriend I hadn’t seen for 30 years, she started the morning by lighting a candle in our rooms. How is that for feeling welcome and appreciated – me and each family member, enjoying this every morning? So instead of reading the full book about HYGGE, what about you skip straight to lighting a candle tonight for dinner? If you feel on a roll, bring out a board game as well…?!! Hygge is a about creating happy, … More Let’s HYGGE.. [hoo-ga] [hue-gah]?! »