On a bench in a park. Under a tree in your garden. Feet deep in the sand on the beach. Wherever you choose. To lower your heart rate, to tune into the frequency of the bench, the tree, the ground. Letting go of the past just for a minute. Leaving the future ashore for a bit. Pressing pause on the play list of things to do. Letting the now seep in. Listening to the birds. A dog barking. The wind in the trees. Being.
When you feel like quitting. When it all gets too hard. When others think you shouldn’t keep going. DON’T quit. Instead keep turning up. It’s not always the smartest, luckiest or richest who end up being the happy ones, the ones living the life they truly want. It can be. But the most important is: we ALL can be that person. And the biggest difference is whether you keep turning up. A key question from John Assaraf (known by some of you from The Secret) that helps you is: Are you interested, or are you committed? To achieve your goals and dreams. So what is that “thing” you’re working on at the moment? Is it creating a loving, kind family being the best human being you can possibly be? Is it finishing the studying you’ve been doing for a while? Is it getting that room cleaned up? Is it starting to look after yourself and your health by exercising? Fill in YOUR version. Now answer: are your interested or committed to achieving this? If you’re interested, you’ll do what’s convenient. And let the excuses hold you back. If you’re committed, you will do whatever it takes to overcome any setbacks, … More Keep turning up! »
Google translate it – Danish origin. About loving everyday life. It’s what we’ve got most of. These weeks stacks of FB pictures are popping up from holiday destinations around Europe: family at dinner in another country, family activities together, time to relax and so on. The emotions are happy, content, relaxed, loving, joyful. Very real, and very heartfelt. Here’s my message: how can you re-create these emotions around the Monday night dinner table? Making sure to do things together on a Wednesday? Taking time out to relax on a Thursday? Most people spend more time planning for their next holiday than creating the everyday life they want. What is your ideal, average day? The day that you would live again and again, experiencing the emotions you want: content, joy, relaxation, love… What most people are not aware of, is that you CAN create your ideal, average day. By making a conscious decision today (yes! today – take 30 min out to write down your ideal day). Because as you check what really would be your ideal (not your family’s or your friends’ – but YOUR ideal), and you write it down, you can start making little 5% adjustments in your … More Jeg holder af hverdagen »
All people pleasers will feel really good while thinking GIVER. Maybe stop reading now or embrace yourself for what’s coming!!?! Giving is a beautiful thing, but the key is the WAY we give. Is it with slight bitterness, martyrdom or defeat (no-one else is gonna do it…). What if it wasn’t about giving things or “services” (doing all the mundane stuff for others), what if the best thing we can give is significance? And here comes the crucial question: are you a giver or a getter of significance?? Significance as in making us feel seen, that we matter, that it makes a difference we’re here. So do you GIVE others significance: your presence in that moment, true interest in whatever they are interested in, listening without prejudice or your map of right and wrong superimposed on top, asking questions to understand more? Or are you more about GETTING significance? “See how nothing would get done here without me”, topping others’ stories with one you have that’s even worse/bigger/better… The full-blown significance-getters are the drama kings and queens of this world – but most of us do it really well too in many situations, without even being aware of it. So … More Are you a giver or a getter?? »
From early on we hear “you can’t have it all” and other energy-zapping one-liners (there is a whole song in Danish about not soaring too high, staying safe with good-old and so on… it was constantly on radio all through my childhood … Free Speech is a great principle, but lyrics like this should be forbidden!!). What if I say you CAN have it all?? You will need others’ help, it won’t be easy, it won’t turn out exactly like you planned, and it definitely will not happen all at once. But it is possible. Be ALL you can be. Every day. Think big, be big – or whatever it is being YOU. Connect with all the people you can, you never know what amazing things come from it (and for the introverts: enjoy being quiet, stay home, enjoy reading that book and cherish YOUR qualities). For all of us: use all your talents, pursue all your interests. Be love. Be daring. Be kind. The bravery comes in handy when the going gets tough and you need to pick yourself up. And for a lot of us the scariest thing is reaching out, putting up your hand when you need … More You CAN have it all (what..??) »
It sounds like a Football club, doesn’t it? But it’s a different kind of club. The club of Good Hearts United. The members are the ones seeing the best in others, sticking to their high values of how to treat each other – and wanting to share goodness. Do you notice though, that many Good Hearts don’t get to REALLY do their thing? How they are often people pleasers, and they put themselves last – they may not even get their own needs and dreams onto the list. And weeks and months and years go by. Well, well, here’s news for you Good Hearts out there. It is OK to put yourself first sometimes (YES, wow, I know, stop-press kind of wow!!). To invest in YOU. To have even more to give to others. That’s why I’ve started Good Hearts United. A group saying yes to themselves and their personal development – linking in with others on the same journey. It’s like a book club for personal development. And the journey we’re starting this July is a 12 months’ journey. Because change doesn’t happen overnight, does it? For sustainable, lasting results, we must keep turning up. And because we are … More Good Hearts United »
Mother’s Day last week. Lovely messages and connections. But one day can’t last us – what I believe supports us through the year, through the daily ups and downs are the collectives. The groups of women, family, friends, neighbours, colleagues or random women we’ve gathered around us. Listening, supporting and giving each other a kick or a hug when needed. That’s what keeps us going. I know Mothers’ groups exist in quite a few countries. Great way to meet likeminded and be able to talk about ALL the stuff on your mind, especially with first time motherhood. Our first group continued, way past bringing the kids along – it became a women’s space to relax and be honest. So why do we need a group as “excuse” for this? And what to do for those without children? And for the women moving into later stages of life? I believe we must create women’s groups for all ages – for retirees, for back-to-work-after-kids, for why-am-I-the-only-female-in-this-leadership-team! To have this safe space to speak your mind, test your views and values – and walk out strengthened, with great ideas and courage to do what is right for you. I love singing, and choirs … More Mothers’ groups for retirees? »
Did you ever wonder if you say NO enough? In order to say YES to yourself more? We’re not talking about mindless no, no, no, no to everything, and we’re not on about NO!!!! with anger, stubbornness or provocation. It’s the calm no. The considered no. The grounded no, because you know who you are and what’s important to you. And often “the request” doesn’t need to be done, or someone else could do it instead of you. So I invite you to ponder: how come we so often have YES as our default response? What if we turned it upside down and had a calm NO as default, unless certain criteria (yours! not others’) were met? So that you know when and why you say yes. In the Joy Hearts workshops we see how it starts with knowing who you are. What’s important to YOU. That’s such a good starting point for making wise decisions. Based on this, you decide how you want to spend your waking hours (we all have the same number of hours in a day; Richard Branson and you both have 24 hrs, I’m just saying?!). SO many things can be done differently, smarter, quicker, … More Saying NO… to say YES »
In coaching there is a model called BE – DO – HAVE. How in life we most often start with what we want to HAVE (I really want that house/job/car), then I would DO (…deliver much more at work/blah-blah!) and finally I could BE (happy/valued/insert-feeling-here). What if I tell you it’s really the other way around? When you start BEING who you want to be, it makes you DO the things that you truly want to focus on (not from guilt or chasing an external-thing-dream) and that leads to you HAVING what you were really after. We have talked about this before. Sometimes we need to hear things twice??!! So: It was never about the house. The car. The new title. It was always about how you imagined you would feel when you HAD it. And that exact feeling you can choose to feel now. Right now. Over something you already have present in your life, big or small. It’s not when you have gotten or done all those other things that you (magically) become that loving, calm, driven, valued or whatever person you know you can be. It’s the other way around. So BE the person you want to … More Who are you BEING (who… me???) »
The beauty of two umbrellas, one in all colours of the rainbow – the other one white. Two friends on a bench talking. Trusting each other to talk, to listen, to be quiet. Witnessing each other’s lives unfold, the ups and the downs. Being the mirror to each other: learning who we are, keeping each other honest. Not like X-factor, Idol or Who’s got Talent, where some people end up in the unbearable situation of being asked: who told you that you could sing???? Being a good friend is not keeping the truth away from you because it’s too scary to tell. And it’s not about being a dream-stealer – it’s about being honest, when you and your friend is ready for it. When we are onto something good and right for us, great friends support each other, give each other the courage (from French ‘heart’, ‘coeur’) to keep going and pursuing our dreams, our little happiness. And when something is difficult, we are there to listen. So here they were. Two long-time friends. Sharing time and presence. Going for their walk despite the rain (and we’ve had rain for a month now in Sydney… so no good waiting for … More Friendship in colour… »
