When did you last use your full voice? Not as an overwhelm thing because you lost the plot. But purposely using your full voice to claim your space? Speaking up. Literally? Here is a funny exercise: in your car, windows hermetically closed (recommend not choosing waiting at a red light) – or home alone, neighbours not in their garden – shout out a series of very loud YES and NOs (pretend to stop something happening at the other end of your house or garden), really loudly. It sounds easy, but for most of us it is SO difficult and feels really awkward. Your voice is such an important part of you. Do you like your speaking voice? Or have you tried meeting someone, or just walking past them in a shop or at the hairdresser, and you think: THAT voice is not doing you any favours, is it? Can be a mousy, tiny, fragile one (and the owner is trying to get her way at the post office counter – not gonna happen, right?), or a silent, nice, calm voice but with that tone of “don’t trust me, don’t count on a word I say”? If you’re ready to boost … More I CAN shout… well maybe, I think, if really needed??!! »

We grow up learning not to cry, not to be angry, be a good boy/girl. And guess what? We teach our own kids the same thing. Because it’s so much easier (read: I’ve got things under control) when people around us behave calmly, politely and mostly happy. The thing is: we HAVE all kinds of emotions. All the time. And it’s OK to have them. So start welcoming them. In yourself. In others. Wow, you’re angry – that’s really important to you, isn’t it (just try and say it to yourself/others without sounding condescending. It’s meant well). So when things fall apart. When you are sad, angry, alone, had enough. Accept it. It’s OK. Own your emotions. They are exactly that: YOUR emotions. No one else’s. So accept them, however ugly and unattractive they may seem in the moment. They are your emotions. Signals to you that something has to change. In you. In the standards you set for others or yourself. In what you say yes to (or should have said no to??). Go explore. All of your emotions. They pop up for a reason. So explore with curiosity and wonder. There is no “think happy thoughts” that solves … More All emotions welcome… oh, noooooo!! »

Most of our self-talk is about how our kids, partner, neighbours, boss, colleagues, parents, dog… (please continue the list yourself)… are the reason for our bad mood right now. Here’s news: your daily joy levels are up to YOU. Ouch…. Yes, things and emotions and buttons being pushed around us impact us. I get it. I do it all the time myself. The liberation comes when you realise it IS up to yourself, that no matter how frustrating, annoying (pick your favourite “what-ruins-it-for-me-word”) the situation or person is, it is how you REACT to it that matters. To how you feel. To how you trust yourself. So, take a step back. Go for a walk. Have a cup of tea. Start realising WHO you really want to be. How will that ideal you react to the situation? (..in a million years, when you have practised enough..). That’s where it starts giving you energy instead of draining you. When you can take every encounter or challenge as another opportunity for practising who you are becoming. And guess what? As you start, you realise it won’t take a million years. That you actually ARE changing bit by bit, for every time you … More My daily joy levels… up to ME??!! »

Is it just me seeing the bit of food on your nose or the lipstick on your front tooth? I know I’m definitely one of the few ones to point it out! Why don’t people say it? Yes, it’s a bit awkward. Having to pause the other person. Looking at them until they are sure it’s gone. Is it because you fear the ultimate – that it was NOT food but a permanent skin problem?? Or that the lipstick is one of those permanent ones, so that it becomes a 10 minute struggle to get it off? Whatever the reason is, get over yourself! If YOU think it is embarrassing pointing it out, then think of THEM two hours later, looking themselves in the mirror and realising they have spoken to dozens of people over the last hours with whipped CREAM on their nose??!! THAT is embarrassing! So be the trusted one. Dare to help others, even – or especially – when risking to make a fool of yourself. The shared fight of eating finger food gracefully in public, while making conversation and holding a glass. That’s what you can have a laugh about together, the dropped meat ball is … More ‘Cuse me – is that lipstick on your teeth!??! »

Making a mess. Not doing what you were supposed to do today. Goofing around. That would have been IMPOSSIBLE for me just years ago. Diligent, driven, serious, orderly, reliable. That was me. That still IS me – now with fun added on top. Either you’re the joker, the “no worries, mate” type that don’t get around to anything you promised yourself or anyone else. Or you’re the perfectionist, delivering on time, double-checking every possible thing that could go wrong. How come so many of us jump in one of these camps? What if we could deliver, be accountable AND do it with the attitude of the nonchalant hedonist???!!! How good would that be? So join me on this mission: take your responsibilities seriously. Do what you promise yourself and others. And do it with a smile. With ease and lightness. Add some fun and laughter. Your worries, tight shoulders, shallow breathing (or nearly no breathing), stressed expression and walk-as-if-you-are-already-late-for-everything-today. Have a guess: do they IMPROVE your chances of doing a great job or DETRACT? Play with me this week: all the same stresses and triggers will hit you, exactly like they did last week and the week before. The difference … More FUN – is that really necessary??!? »

We have a quote from my father-in-law: you can lie to others, but not to yourself (in Danish ‘Man kan lyve for alle andre, men ikke for sig selv’). It made me wonder, what’s worst: lying to others or to yourself? Or lying full stop? My family upbringing was more around total honesty and not lying to anyone at all – but with life experience I realise that we do lie. Small white lies to not upset people, and for some people they live their life on big lies. Others are very aware of being honest and prudent to others – but lie to their true self by not listening and standing up for themselves and what is important to them. I guess the meaning of his quote is that we deep down know what’s right for us, and that we get hints when we’re not living to our own values and purpose. The other side of the coin of honesty versus lies is that when we are honest, we can hurt people as well, so is that actually better than lying??? I have given more than my fair share of hurt through being honest and not being able to … More What’s worst: lying to others or to yourself?? »