Author: joyheartstoo

When superwoman is sick. We just keep going. Power through. Work. Do all the things that have to get done. I’m working on getting rid of superwoman. So what better opportunity than this week, when I realised I had powered through (because of lots of VERY important things). And trying to hide the fact that I was sick by changing plans slightly (working from home midweek) but still doing all the same things, delivering to all plans. FULL STOP! Who am I kidding? Myself. Looking after everybody else’s needs when my body was clearly telling me ENOUGH. So after a night of coughing, I realised: men do it right. They get the man flu. They’re sick. They’re OUT. Decided right there and then to have the man flu and pull the plug. Cancelled everything for the next 48 hours. Do you know how hard that is? You are coming up with excuses why you could still do x and join y, just via phone. Full stop. NO! (hahaaaaa… some of you will remember me teaching saying NO, must share in one of the upcoming blogs, it does come in handy, including the stomp of the foot!). One of our daughters … More Superwoman down with man flu! »

We all look different. Isn’t that fascinating? Think of all the people you know and have ever met (and that’s actually a lot when you think of it!), it would be hundreds, if not thousands when you add up school, activities you’ve done, concerts you’ve been to and the average number of people we see as we walk through the shopping centre…. As you’re now mentally scanning all of those faces and bodies, notice how we all look different. Each one of us is our own version indeed! So how come we have a singular, narrow idea of what beautiful is??? How come most of us aren’t happy with how we look? We can start blaming media, but what if it’s really our own tactic, used to move attention away from ourselves?? Instead of accepting and trying to be happy with our bodies and looks, we create some impossible standard to measure ourselves against. That none of us will ever meet. Because every single one of us looks different. And beauty therefore cannot be nailed to one thing. Wow….. So let’s start singing Joe Cocker’s song to ourselves: “You are so beautiful… to me”! And let ourselves feel what it’s … More You are so beautiful… Who me??! »

I’ve got a new, favourite word! Irreverent. Being irreverent. I had to look it up, and now my best description is to be direct, saying things as they are, taking things lightly that are normally taken seriously, being cheeky with a good intention. The dictionary will also say disrespectful or rude. But that doesn’t work for me. What I LOVE about this word is the energy it gives. The permission to be BIG, to use the childlike curiosity to say things they way they are – with respect, but also with a detachment to the outcome. That I’m not judging you or the situation, I’m offering a way of seeing it that none of us were aware of before. What most often gets us stuck is that we take a situation (and ourselves!!) MUCH too seriously. By putting on my irreverent hat (Iet’s make it bright green with a feather?!), I am taking myself lighter already, I look at the situation with a curious, cheeky-loving glance, and may come up with a view on it that takes out all the emotion, drama, judgment, blame and defence. How good is that? So this one word helps me put my frame of … More Irrever-something: my new favourite word! »

When did you last use your full voice? Not as an overwhelm thing because you lost the plot. But purposely using your full voice to claim your space? Speaking up. Literally? Here is a funny exercise: in your car, windows hermetically closed (recommend not choosing waiting at a red light) – or home alone, neighbours not in their garden – shout out a series of very loud YES and NOs (pretend to stop something happening at the other end of your house or garden), really loudly. It sounds easy, but for most of us it is SO difficult and feels really awkward. Your voice is such an important part of you. Do you like your speaking voice? Or have you tried meeting someone, or just walking past them in a shop or at the hairdresser, and you think: THAT voice is not doing you any favours, is it? Can be a mousy, tiny, fragile one (and the owner is trying to get her way at the post office counter – not gonna happen, right?), or a silent, nice, calm voice but with that tone of “don’t trust me, don’t count on a word I say”? If you’re ready to boost … More I CAN shout… well maybe, I think, if really needed??!! »

We grow up learning not to cry, not to be angry, be a good boy/girl. And guess what? We teach our own kids the same thing. Because it’s so much easier (read: I’ve got things under control) when people around us behave calmly, politely and mostly happy. The thing is: we HAVE all kinds of emotions. All the time. And it’s OK to have them. So start welcoming them. In yourself. In others. Wow, you’re angry – that’s really important to you, isn’t it (just try and say it to yourself/others without sounding condescending. It’s meant well). So when things fall apart. When you are sad, angry, alone, had enough. Accept it. It’s OK. Own your emotions. They are exactly that: YOUR emotions. No one else’s. So accept them, however ugly and unattractive they may seem in the moment. They are your emotions. Signals to you that something has to change. In you. In the standards you set for others or yourself. In what you say yes to (or should have said no to??). Go explore. All of your emotions. They pop up for a reason. So explore with curiosity and wonder. There is no “think happy thoughts” that solves … More All emotions welcome… oh, noooooo!! »

Most of our self-talk is about how our kids, partner, neighbours, boss, colleagues, parents, dog… (please continue the list yourself)… are the reason for our bad mood right now. Here’s news: your daily joy levels are up to YOU. Ouch…. Yes, things and emotions and buttons being pushed around us impact us. I get it. I do it all the time myself. The liberation comes when you realise it IS up to yourself, that no matter how frustrating, annoying (pick your favourite “what-ruins-it-for-me-word”) the situation or person is, it is how you REACT to it that matters. To how you feel. To how you trust yourself. So, take a step back. Go for a walk. Have a cup of tea. Start realising WHO you really want to be. How will that ideal you react to the situation? (..in a million years, when you have practised enough..). That’s where it starts giving you energy instead of draining you. When you can take every encounter or challenge as another opportunity for practising who you are becoming. And guess what? As you start, you realise it won’t take a million years. That you actually ARE changing bit by bit, for every time you … More My daily joy levels… up to ME??!! »