Category: Power of Language

We grow up learning not to cry, not to be angry, be a good boy/girl. And guess what? We teach our own kids the same thing. Because it’s so much easier (read: I’ve got things under control) when people around us behave calmly, politely and mostly happy. The thing is: we HAVE all kinds of emotions. All the time. And it’s OK to have them. So start welcoming them. In yourself. In others. Wow, you’re angry – that’s really important to you, isn’t it (just try and say it to yourself/others without sounding condescending. It’s meant well). So when things fall apart. When you are sad, angry, alone, had enough. Accept it. It’s OK. Own your emotions. They are exactly that: YOUR emotions. No one else’s. So accept them, however ugly and unattractive they may seem in the moment. They are your emotions. Signals to you that something has to change. In you. In the standards you set for others or yourself. In what you say yes to (or should have said no to??). Go explore. All of your emotions. They pop up for a reason. So explore with curiosity and wonder. There is no “think happy thoughts” that solves … More All emotions welcome… oh, noooooo!! »

Most of our self-talk is about how our kids, partner, neighbours, boss, colleagues, parents, dog… (please continue the list yourself)… are the reason for our bad mood right now. Here’s news: your daily joy levels are up to YOU. Ouch…. Yes, things and emotions and buttons being pushed around us impact us. I get it. I do it all the time myself. The liberation comes when you realise it IS up to yourself, that no matter how frustrating, annoying (pick your favourite “what-ruins-it-for-me-word”) the situation or person is, it is how you REACT to it that matters. To how you feel. To how you trust yourself. So, take a step back. Go for a walk. Have a cup of tea. Start realising WHO you really want to be. How will that ideal you react to the situation? (..in a million years, when you have practised enough..). That’s where it starts giving you energy instead of draining you. When you can take every encounter or challenge as another opportunity for practising who you are becoming. And guess what? As you start, you realise it won’t take a million years. That you actually ARE changing bit by bit, for every time you … More My daily joy levels… up to ME??!! »

Is it just me seeing the bit of food on your nose or the lipstick on your front tooth? I know I’m definitely one of the few ones to point it out! Why don’t people say it? Yes, it’s a bit awkward. Having to pause the other person. Looking at them until they are sure it’s gone. Is it because you fear the ultimate – that it was NOT food but a permanent skin problem?? Or that the lipstick is one of those permanent ones, so that it becomes a 10 minute struggle to get it off? Whatever the reason is, get over yourself! If YOU think it is embarrassing pointing it out, then think of THEM two hours later, looking themselves in the mirror and realising they have spoken to dozens of people over the last hours with whipped CREAM on their nose??!! THAT is embarrassing! So be the trusted one. Dare to help others, even – or especially – when risking to make a fool of yourself. The shared fight of eating finger food gracefully in public, while making conversation and holding a glass. That’s what you can have a laugh about together, the dropped meat ball is … More ‘Cuse me – is that lipstick on your teeth!??! »

Making a mess. Not doing what you were supposed to do today. Goofing around. That would have been IMPOSSIBLE for me just years ago. Diligent, driven, serious, orderly, reliable. That was me. That still IS me – now with fun added on top. Either you’re the joker, the “no worries, mate” type that don’t get around to anything you promised yourself or anyone else. Or you’re the perfectionist, delivering on time, double-checking every possible thing that could go wrong. How come so many of us jump in one of these camps? What if we could deliver, be accountable AND do it with the attitude of the nonchalant hedonist???!!! How good would that be? So join me on this mission: take your responsibilities seriously. Do what you promise yourself and others. And do it with a smile. With ease and lightness. Add some fun and laughter. Your worries, tight shoulders, shallow breathing (or nearly no breathing), stressed expression and walk-as-if-you-are-already-late-for-everything-today. Have a guess: do they IMPROVE your chances of doing a great job or DETRACT? Play with me this week: all the same stresses and triggers will hit you, exactly like they did last week and the week before. The difference … More FUN – is that really necessary??!? »

We have a quote from my father-in-law: you can lie to others, but not to yourself (in Danish ‘Man kan lyve for alle andre, men ikke for sig selv’). It made me wonder, what’s worst: lying to others or to yourself? Or lying full stop? My family upbringing was more around total honesty and not lying to anyone at all – but with life experience I realise that we do lie. Small white lies to not upset people, and for some people they live their life on big lies. Others are very aware of being honest and prudent to others – but lie to their true self by not listening and standing up for themselves and what is important to them. I guess the meaning of his quote is that we deep down know what’s right for us, and that we get hints when we’re not living to our own values and purpose. The other side of the coin of honesty versus lies is that when we are honest, we can hurt people as well, so is that actually better than lying??? I have given more than my fair share of hurt through being honest and not being able to … More What’s worst: lying to others or to yourself?? »

I’ve been so tired the last few days. Exhausted really, heavy like an elephant. Luckily it tipped over into laughter and crazy stuff Friday night, because I just kept looking at the whole situation with curiosity and a hint of craziness. Which let to The pose of the Pizza, which will forever live in our family consciousness…. My daughter and I have done yoga over the last 5 months or so, I still mix up the names of the poses, while thoroughly enjoying actually doing them. Sometimes my brain simply picks a word from a wrong drawer. And great humour for me often comes from mixing and mashing stuff that does NOT fit together at all – which led to this delicate pose with a pizza box balancing on the back of my head. Health pose versus Junk food. Gracious. Not. Funny. YES. Tears running down our cheeks, hick ups and smudged mascara all over the place. THAT cured my heaviness. So: with the words of Richard Carlson “Don’t sweat the small stuff – and it’s all small stuff”. When it all looks too hard, have a laugh with yourself (especially if no-one else is around, even more reason to … More The Pose of the Pizza »

We say thank you a lot. At the supermarket as we get our bags. When someone hands us something. We’ve been brought up to do it. It’s the right thing to do. But when is the last time you said THANK YOU with power in your voice, feeling it all through your bones? Because you REALLY meant it???? Have a go. Say it to yourself. Right now. For something you’re really glad about, about yourself. Come on, try. Say it again, and mean it even more this time. Now say it out really loud! “Thank you for being so xxxx”. Now again – and add a big smile. Notice what happens in your body. We have this beautiful gift we can give: saying thank you. To ourselves and to others. Noticing the beautiful aspects of ourselves and others, of life, everyday life. Of those people we share most of our time with. A gratitude journal or app will make it easy – commit yourself to starting TODAY, and continue for the next 22 days, which will take you safely into 2016. Write 10 things in your notebook every morning that you are really thankful for – in yourself, in others, … More THANK YOU – say it and MEAN it!! »